THE LAST GOODBYE - CONTINUES

Jake Jr:

"I need sleep. I know. My boy keeps telling me that, but I can't and that is that...so...

If there is one thing I have learned over the last year or so, it is that we are truly NOT promised tomorrow.

Life can be short or long but we don't have a lot of say in that.  You are going along just fine and then POOF.

I stood at the graveside today and felt like, I don't know. Punched in the stomach? Kicked?  I'm not sure but it sure as hell wasn't a good feeling. After the last couple years watching dad die, and mom trying so desperately to be strong for Rick and I. Yet we both knew what was going on inside. HORRIBLE PAIN. Grief. The air was thick with it. 

Dad and mom loved each other so much and anyone who thinks otherwise, if only cause they were both guys, is NUTS...and couldn't POSSIBLY have known them.

Their love was as real and as deep as that of ANY straight couple and probably MORE so. So-called straight couples do NOT have  a lock on good marriages, trust me. Their pathetic divorce rate proves that.

I remember Christmas Eve's when we were kids. God the fun we had. Sure they bought us lots of STUFF, but every single present Santa's helpers brought to Rick and me came with a big hug and kiss. We both cherish that even now.

They would sit on the couch, and hold hands. Look into each others eyes, GOD they were so in love with each other and THAT SHOWED MY BROTHER AND ME HOW TO BE A GOOD MATE. Their funny sides, silliness, geez did we laugh and laugh. Both of them could be hilarious. 

Oh sure they could be serious, and pugnaciously so. They were incredibly successful in business and in pretty much everything else,

Talented in music...and mom in writing, dad in painting.

But like I said, they would sit on the couch or mom on dad's lap in one of the wing chairs or recliners, and just hold hands and look with such love into each others eyes.

(SOB)

That will always be one of my fondest memories. Their love. It was always that way. It never wavered. Not ever.

We were FAMILY. We did stuff together. Dad taught both of us boys how to shoot. Played sports with us, bowled, played pool, swam. He was a real man's man...and a tender-hearted one too. He loved the outdoors and we always spent a lot of time out there. Rode horses, we even had a couple of go-carts when we were kids. I think Dad got more out of them than we did. LOL.

Guns to be sure and we learned that with gun ownership comes responsibility and they taught us that too. Bow and Arrow was a lot of fun. Horseshoes and croquet. Tennis, Volleyball. 

IT WAS SO KEWL. I wouldn't trade a MINUTE of it, NOR would I trade my parents for ANYONE ELSE, gay or straight...cause OUR PARENTS WERE THE BEST. Period.

He did more stuff with us than most of our friends dads ever did. HE LOVED US, and mom. God mom is SOOOO kewl. Writing, Baking and cooking, Macrame, music (keyboards, voice, guitar like dad), and just all kinds of fun stuff. AND WE ATE IT UP and still do.

Speaking of eating or sorta...
I remember one time, and I think it was Rick's and my birthday. We were barely into our teens I think and SOMEHOW...a food fight started in the great room. Cake and all. Everybody wound up COVERED with cake and frosting and even some ice cream I think. GOD we laughed.

We grew up, both Rick and me, with love. 
WE TRULY DID...and I will always be grateful as HELL for that...and the fact that even though Rick and I are twins, we were ALWAYS treated as individuals. Not the usual cutesie twin-names thing. Never were dressed alike. Brought up to love each other and respect each other, and love our twin-ness, but not let that detract from our uniqueness as individuals. THAT was SO kewl.

Parents who loved us, and we loved each other too...and kids we knew always wanted to come to OUR house cause the fun and love and the laughter was tangible. REAL, and in more abundance than in most of their homes. Mom and Dad taught us the value of life in all its facets. Too many straight parents today do NOT. Shame.

Kids NEED that. NEED parental authority. We had it and have it still.

When we graduated from high school, so many came up and said they HATED to see high school end. Most were college bound and it was both a time of excitement and a bit of adventure, but of angst too. It was hello to our futures and goodbye to the life we had known.

I just think they were gonna miss our Mom & Dad. LOL.

I am NOT trying to insinuate that Rick and I were perfect little angels, cause GOD KNOWS we weren't. And we got 'taken to the woodshed' fairly often as I recall, but that too was cause they LOVED us and wanted us to know right from wrong and that there is no free lunch. You reap what you sow. You get in return what you give.

THEY TAUGHT US VALUES. THEY TAUGHT US HOW TO BE ADULTS, in a very imperfect world. 

Mom also taught us the art of how to use your instincts and she was a past master at it. I swear to God. Mom can size you up in a New York minute and is hardly ever wrong. Dad was no slouch either.

I have met SO many people who are so CLUELESS as to who people who identify as gay are, what they are like, and definitely don't know the values that gay guys have or the fact that they are pretty much what everyone else's are. 

There is no cookie-cutter. All different, unique, and human. GEEZ, REALLY? YUP.

SO GUESS WHAT. We are just like everyone else. DUH!

Oh you do have the silly twits, to be sure, but the straights do too. THEY also have virtually ALL of the perverts, the child molesters, and the abusers. GAYS DO NOT.

NOT ALL GAY GUYS are inferior desecrators or hair depressers or flaming queens or ANY of that. Some sure, but actually they are a minority. Most are JUST LIKE their straight counterparts.

Gay dudes grow up and learn and become famous or not and well-adjusted in spite of the enormous obstacles they face, and put their pants on one leg at a time and eat with the normal cadre of utensils like chain saws and meat hooks (Joke) and sleep and do all the other normal shit everyone else does.

We just do it with flawless wardrobes, teased hair and BOA'S, while aboard their yachts on the Mediterranean IN the Ferrari and sipping a white Russian and singing the entire score from Les Miserables.

(Stereotype #247).

Normal. WE ARE NORMAL. I AM.

Jason and I are successful business people, go to church every Sunday, and are about to have our first child (a girl). We shop and do yard work, and pay our bills and dress normally (ok mostly) just like everyone else. We are also incredibly boring. Just like everyone else. 

WE ARE NO DIFFERENT. We truly aren't. We don't have bleeding entrails hanging from our fangs. (NO? REALLY?) Ok, there was that time last week and Mitchell, but he says he can explain. (This should be good).

My heart is with mom now. JESUS the pain and the grief but Rick and Jason and I will do everything we can to help her go on. Not easy I know, but I just don't want my mom giving up, cause of losing dad. This last two years have been SO HARD.

(SOB)

I would go into their room sometimes at night. Dad would usually be sleeping and Mom curled up next to him looking SO tired, and SO...sad, and...

It would just tear me APART but there wasn't much I could do. Any of us. It played out as it would until a few days ago when dad's heart finally just stopped. Mom was laying beside him snuggled, holding his hand, holding him...and DAD DIED KNOWING HE WAS TRULY LOVED.

SOB

Cause dammit, WE DID.

(sobbing).

DAD WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERSON, AND A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL DAD.

DAD, I love you dammit. I wish you hadn't had to go away."

(Stops and starts weeping, head down on his desk.)

COMING UP:

JASON, RICK, and perhaps a friend or two.

Stay tuned

 "THE LAST GOODBYE -
   THE BOYS"